Tuesday, November 23, 2010

P Diddy is my hero too?

Saw this on somebody's Facebook page. Thought I would share it so that you might understand why I (generally) vote Republican.

I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P.Diddy.I'm voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America. I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America. I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could. I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will disappear in ten years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels. I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to kill millions of babies as long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive.I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be
allowed to make profits.Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education, or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally.We can't blame them for that, can we?I'm voting Democrat because the same teacher that didn't teach my child to read can reasonably educate them about sex.I'm voting Democrat because my trial lawyer's crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO's will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable.I'm voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jesse Jackson will end racism once and for all. because Christians in the Republican Party are intolerant, theocratic warmongers and atheists like William Ayers have never hurt anybody.I'm voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line for Obama's socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it to a bed. If you want more reasons just hit me up!

Yikes. Big, big yikes. Except for the first sentence. P.Diddy is pretty legit.

1 comment:

Matthew said...

I actually read this before back in 2008. I was pretty insulted then, just as I am now. Remember no political party is perfect or right. I would retort but in the spirit of Thanksgiving I'll just say that we should be thankful for the democracy we have and for those we actually serve their constituents and that despite being Democrat or Republican we can look those identifiers and be friends who love the United States. Best to your family on this most American of holidays. Koach